My god, how time passes...
In the time of me acquiring a job, I quit and found a superior one.  It offers better pay, hours, is almost frustratingly easy, but offers the greatest thing of all - even though I am working more hours (40+), the hours are set in such a way that I get a weekend every week.  Additionally, I work at night, which allows me to sleep during the morning and experience the afternoon, evening, and night of every day.  That's around ten hours each day to create art, which is approximately eight more than what my last job allowed.

It's a lovely thing, it truly is.  Time is so very precious, it seems, and to have more of it is, well, gratifying.


As for that of my art, I was forced to drop out of an online art competition due to my heinously constricted time.  Upon my forced resignation, I seemed to lose any real motivation to create art.  It was akin to that of a writer's block.  Some of you fellow artists can relate in terms of feeling this "thing" that can only be described as an artist's version of a writer's block.  Sometimes, my High School Art Teached would call it "Art Constipation", which is actually quite an accurate description seeing as it seems to just die, then gets all pent up, and then suddenly I am drawing four of five drawings at a time.  And then I go for another four or five months without a debilatating hiatus.  Rinse, lather, repeat.

I do believe that I am improving my art skills, most notably my control of lines and shadows; however, I do not make mention of such a thing for purposes of self, but rather my girlfriend.  What strikes me as intersting is that as I have suddenly improved in the areas of artork, so has my girlfriend.  It most likey is nothing but an odd coincidence, but the allignment of events in such a way is intriguing.  I am also glad to see that she is a much better artist than I was at her age (17).  It's always a lovely thing to see others grow and expand.

Does anyone share the feeling of mixed interests when viewing your older creations?  I look upon my drawings two years ago, even simply eight months prior, and there is a strange mixture of loathing and interest.  My drawings were incredibly small, muddied with low contrast (an overabundance of greys and blacks and hardly any whites or other highlights), and/or stereotypical, unimaginative scenes.  It reminds of looking back at an angst-ridden, ridiculous teenager.  Actually, such a thing very much described me two years ago, so it ought not to be a surprise.  I supose I am still filled with a level of angst or depressive notions, but at least my execution of such feelings is much more controlled and, well, simply put, better.

It is nice to see that I no longer such ass, though.  As I work on my current projects, I sometimes wonder if I shall think the same thing of my artwork in two years time.  It's an odd mixture of hoping that I do and do not.  For if I do not think such thoughts, then it means I have not improved, which is a depressing thought.  However, thinking that I may one day view my current projects as an amateur's random shit is not particularily one I enjoy either.  Of the two, though, I hope that my current artwork one day sucks.

So I must create more shitty art, eh?


I made mention that I was forced to drop out of the online art competition I was competing in; however, there was a most interesting turn of events within the last few weeks of its running.  The member that replaced me had to resign, and there was once again a spot "up for grabs".  I quietly debated within my mind as to whether or not I ought to try for this opening - eventually, I asked to once again join the competition.

To my joy, they allowed me to once again compete.

I adore competitions - they force you to become better.  No one wishes to be shamed by another's piece of artwork, so to say.

The challenge is a large one: I and the two others are to create eight pieces of artwork showcasing their expertise and style.  Not only are we to create a number of pieces, we are asked to make a video that effectively showcases our creations.

The time frame to creat this "compilation" of sorts is around 2 and a half months.  Which actually is enough time, I think, but it requires a careful amount of planning on my part.  I do not wish to be placed in a corner by having only three drawings done with only five days left...

The sinle most frustrating aspect of this challenge, though, is that I have visions of what I wish the video to be like, but I cannot find a viable option in terms of a video editor.  Perhaps I shall one day surf the internet in hopes of finding a competant program or software.  I could simply use a lite, simply program, but my thoughts are this:

"If I am to spend a vast amount of time on these ensuing eight pieces of artwork, the video had better be fucking amazing, otherwise my countless hours will feel like they were spent for naught."

We'll see, though.  Hopefully, it will not be too difficult to find.


As for what my eight pieces may be, my plans are to create all the scenes with the following themes and/or sentiments:

Sexuality
Violence
The mirror of light and dark
Mysticism
A brutal type of love

Of course, not every single piece will display all of these themes, but I plan to make the eight pieces somewhat work off eachother's scene or feeling.  But then again, my initial thoughts may be lost as time goes on, and I can already see that I am slightly departing from my orignal thoughts.  I have four of the pieces started, and only two really share the same themes...

Meh, the style of the drawings will be the same, which is essentialy high-contrast, slightly surreal, dark, even morbid, sexually suggestive, and violent.  Although most of the pieces will undoubetedly share these aspects, I wish to make one or two pieces that show the softer side of my character, meaning intimate and affectionate art pieces of love and/or care.  Even as these types of drawings are not foreign to me, I do not commonly showcase them, seeing as such drawings are made specifically for my dearest.  It may seem odd, for me personally, to create a love piece with the motive of showcasing it rather than having it be shared in a private, intimate moment.  

I do know, however, that some of my best work has been my love pieces, so perhaps the thought isn't such a strange one.  After all, the sentiments and story can be felt in such pieces of artwork quite well, I think.  And I show pieces of anger, so what qualms should I have in showing love?


So, really, things, for the most part, are alright, if not better.  Some personal conflicts and the usual clinical detriments waver up and down, but overall, things seem to be fine.  Hopefully I complete this challenge on time, and that the artwork I create is worthy of competing with the others' works.

I simply wish it were not so damned bitter and cold...  The temperature really ought to stay above 0 degrees...